The “X factor” of success

Whether it’s status, money, time, or peace of mind, wouldn’t it be wonderful to get everything you wanted, without it costing you your mental and physical health?

One of my clients once asked me “Are successful people the ones who are the busiest?” and I get why she asked this question. We were raised to wear our burnouts as a badge of honor. Because if you haven’t poured your blood sweat and tears into your projects, then you probably don’t deserve your success right? Let me tell you what I told her, “If you have 20% battery left on your phone, will you keep all your apps open, use google maps all day and send texts to all your friends? Or will you only use the functionalities you really need right now, select who you will interact with and put your phone on airplane mode when you don’t need it?” Your time and energy is like your phone battery, you only have a certain amount of it to get you through the day. The less you have, the more you need to save your energy for what will get you the best results. 

This article will give you three fundamental rules that will help you succeed without it costing you your health.

There are six key variables contributing to the level and quality of the results we produce.

Understanding how you can leverage these variables is critical to creating success with more ease and well-being. 

The six variables are:

  1. Starting place
  2. Investment of time and energy
  3. Strategy
  4. Skills vs arena
  5. Other people
  6. Random factor

1/ Recognise where those variables sit in your circle of influence and focus on the ones we can leverage

What you can neither control nor influence:

Recognizing these variables is key. This allows you not to waste time and energy pondering on the things you cannot change.

  • Starting place: You’re more likely to finish a race first if you begin 2 miles closer to the finish line than everyone else. So, yes, privileges that some of us are born into, such as family connections, trust funds or access to quality education matter. But although there is no denying that they are important, they are also not essential. Don’t give up just yet, keep on reading.
  • Random factor: You can call it fate, luck, or the universe. Whether you like it or not, some things are just random, there is a part of life we have no control over. If you spend too much time trying to create a predictable pattern in the world, you’re not considering that we live in a world of infinite possibilities.  

What is under your circle of influence

They are the things you cannot directly control but you can influence. These are worth paying attention to as long as we acknowledge the parts that we cannot control.

  • Your level of skill in relation to the level of challenge:

Although you can argue talent is innate and there isn’t much you can do about it, the amount of effort you put in to nourish and develop it is under your control. But when considering skills, the arena you are playing in is as, if not more, important. Some fields are more competitive than others, some environments are more challenging.

  • Other people: Let’s be honest, the self-made man or woman is a myth. Nothing great happens if you rely solely on yourself. Whether it’s a team, customers, or a community, you are bound to rely some way or another on other people.

What is under your direct control:

These are the variables that are worth focusing on to create success.

  • Investment of time and energy: There is no denying it, if you want to produce results and you’re not starting at the finish line, you will have to put in the hours.
  • Strategy: How enjoyable your time and energy invested in your project is depends directly on this variable. The best idea in the world doesn’t work if it’s poorly executed.

2/ Get the most for the least by leveraging the 7th variable: State of Mind

When thinking about the quality of your state of mind at any given moment, think about an elevator. 

When you’re in a low-quality state of mind, life feels busy, loud and complicated. It’s like being on the ground floor in a bustling street, everything seems close and oppressive. So much so that you cannot see ahead. You’re too caught up in the urgency of the crowd and distracted by the horns of the cars to be able to think clearly. 

When you’re in a high-quality state of mind, it’s as if you were suddenly lifted to the top floor of a skyscraper. You can see the roads and pathways that could lead you out of this mess. You can see how far you are from where you’re trying to go. The busy, erratic world is still there, but it doesn’t seem to bother you as much. You can see beyond the urgency of the moment. You’re able to see the bigger picture.

State of mind is the master variable of success. It gives the greatest possible leverage of the other six. 

How a high-quality state of mind impacts all six variables:

  • Starting place: You have a better view of the bigger picture. Consequently, you worry less about how close you are to finishing. Instead, you can be more appreciative of how far you’ve already come.
  • Investment of time and energy: When you spend less time thinking about what could go wrong, you can focus on the task instead. This means you will find yourself at a much higher level of efficiency.
  • Strategy: As you see the bigger picture, you will be able to act with more common sense. That means following the most effective path and abandoning dead ends and wrong turns quicker.
  • Skills: When you’re not all caught up in your relationship to how it’s going, you’re able to adapt better to the reality of the situation. Whether it’s setting up new goals, outsourcing skills or going on a learning curve and picking up new ones. From that perspective, there are no failures, only feedback.
  • Other people: You’re more empathetic with others and able to navigate difficult situations better. You know there are optimal moments to have a critical conversation. This allows you to be a better influencer and create stronger, more equal relationships.
  • Random factor: You stop trying to create structure out of chaos. You spend less time trying to control the wheel of fortune and more time looking to take advantage of it when it spins your way.

Understanding how state of mind impacts the bottom line is freeing. It means you can choose not to make any big decisions or take any big steps when you know you’re not in a right place to do so.

3/ State of mind is completely out of your control

This might go against everything you have been taught, but hear me out. You cannot influence your state of mind with external factors.

The belief that we can, comes from the misunderstanding that circumstances have power on our well-being.

Our state of mind is 100% thought generated, and since we have no control over our thoughts, we have no control over our state of mind.

But then, why is it that going for a run, talking to a friend, and having a cup of tea can positively influence the way we feel in the moment? and equally why is it that bad weather, traffic, or just some people can negatively impact our mood?

  • Firstly the key word here is “can”. The simple fact that changing our environments doesn’t guarantee a 100% chance of changing our state of mind, means that this is not what controls it.
  • Secondly, the key to understanding how some people can influence their mood by changing their environment better than others lies in the power they attribute to it.

If you believe chocolate has the power to make you feel better, it’s a pretty safe bet that you will feel some sort of relief when digging into the celebration box when you feel down. On the flip side, If you strongly believe that nothing can save that god-awful day you’re having, no amount of chocolate will cut it.

What about endorphins? Endorphins are feel-good hormones released in the brain and body when we experience something we enjoy. So going for a run might help you release endorphins  which is likely to change your state of mind for the better. But that only goes if you enjoy running. Why is running a pleasure to some and a torture to others? It’s what we make of the activity, in other words, the thought we’re having at the moment, that dictates how much enjoyment we get out of it. Thoughts are the catalyst of 100% of our experiences.

How much power external factors have on how you feel depends on how much you believe they do.

In other words, it’s your belief that your state of mind can be influenced that has the power to influence it. your beliefs are thought-generated, thoughts are out of your control. This means state of mind is out of your control.

How can we use that knowledge to create success?

Understanding this means having another powerful arrow to your quiver. If you understand that state of mind is out of your control when in a low state of mind you have 2 options:

1/You can wait until the wind changes. Your mind is a beautiful self-regulating system, if you give it the time you will be able to hop on that elevator sooner or later.

2/You can choose to ignore your current state of mind and focus on the task instead. Moving the flashlight away from your unhelpful thoughts and onto the task at hand allow you to find your flow. Body and mind work best together when our contaminated thinking takes the back seat.

So here are 3 things you can do right now to apply what you have just learned and start creating success right away without it costing your health:

1/ Review these variables and think about which one you have covered in your own pursuit of success, and the ones you feel like you’re up against. And start mapping out what you can influence in the ones that need attention.

2/Get a sense for yourself of how you know when your state of mind is high and when it’s low. Understanding that will help you do less damage when you’re off your game

3/ Pay attention to what happens when you decide to ignore your low state of mind and focus on the task at hand instead. Discover what your flow feels like. And start using it when you need it the most.

Start your journey towards the life you want

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left Charlotte a 5 star review

September 29, 2022

Finding Charlotte on my path was a blessing, i am so grateful that i met her in a difficult time of my life. Nowadays if you don’t have connection, you can find hundreds of therapists on internet but finding the good one / the perfect match is priceless. She is very good, she knows what she does, she found quickly the red buttons and took my hand all along the sessions to make them turned green.

Steph Piercey
March 3, 2023

I can’t speak highly enough of my experience working with Charlotte. She was empathetic, patient and understanding the entire time. I was a little skeptical of hypnotherapy at first but had a breakthrough moment with her and now really see the benefits! I would recommend her to any one seeking out support

Antonia Fleming
December 9, 2022

I had never tried anything like this before and didnt have any expectations but Charlotte put me at ease before i had even met her. I got so much out of our session and felt so relaxed after. The aftercare is also excellent and gave me further help to continue the process and she has checked in with me to see how i have been doing. I cannot recommend her enough! Thank you Charlotte!

Caoimhe Creed
January 21, 2023

Charlotte has such a calming presence and is so knowledgable, I quickly felt comfortable and completely relaxed with her. She explained the psychology behind everything so clearly, which meant that I not only came away from our session knowing a lot more about myself but also the human brain! She also followed up with helpful, tailored advice. I would highly recommend everyone have a session with her.

Félicie Escoffier
August 22, 2022

After an episode a few weeks ago where I lost my son at the park, I had unexpected reactions when I was with him. Basically, I was freaking out the same thing would happen again and had as well some flashback of the event. I decided to get in touch with Charlotte, to help me to get rid of this trauma. In one session, she used her magic and reprogrammed my memories of the event. I was a little bit scared to have to talk and relive the event but I have to say it was quite enjoyable. She helped me get rid of the fear linked to this traumatic event and she even helped me create positive memories about it. I was blown away how powerful her technique was. At the end of the session, I was feeling lighter, relieved and even happy! It gave me the chance to enjoy my time with my kids as nothing ever happened. Mind blowing. I couldn’t recommend her enough.

Charlotte was very professional throughout our sessions and made me feel totally at ease in both my environment and in myself emotionally. We spoke about things I would never have expected to in ways I was totally unfamiliar with, but the combination of uncertainty and Charly’s professionalism led to a switch in my head concerning something I have had insecurities about for a life time. I haven’t since thought about the sessions in depth, but their results will stay with me forever. Once again so happy to have been able to work with her and am endlessly thankful for the difference she made. I wish her all the best of luck in this exciting journey!

fredrica Carlqvist
January 16, 2023

I feel lighter after talking to Charlotte. What I have noticed after my work with her is that don’t feel the same stress talking into a camera or to an audience anymore. I warmly recommend Charlotte to everyone that feel some kind of stress over something.

Jennifer Syme
December 14, 2022

I won a session with Charlotte and it was the best prize I could have had. The session was calm and gentle. I felt like she was leading me by the hand to the places I needed to explore. Then a recording to listen to in bed, which helped me sleep. I will definitely book further sessions.

Calli Bushell
August 31, 2022

Whenever I am struggling, Charlotte is always there to provide me with the tools I need to help me overcome these challenges or thoughts. She has made my sport enjoyable again and helped me make some tough decisions which I would still be putting off now!