Be more influential

Don’t you wish you had the ability to influence people and to get your point across even in the most challenging of conversations? If you do, keep reading because this article is about giving you the tools to be more influential.

There are three things you need to know to become a more influential person :

1.Our reality is made up.

100% of our experience is thought-generated

100% of our experience is thought-generated. We tend to live in the illusion that our feelings and our experiences in life are created by the outside world: how much money we make, the friends we have, the way people interact with us. The reality is our circumstances have no influence on our thoughts and feelings.

Then why are we more tense when speaking to some people or more scared in certain situations? Because we believe that our circumstances influence our thoughts and feelings. Our problems don’t come from our circumstances, they come from the core belief that our circumstances matter.

Have you ever been stuck in a traffic jam? Have you ever found that you can be absolutely fuming about it one day and not bothered at all the next? Why is it that the exact same situation can result in 2 completely different behaviors? It’s because our feelings are 100% thought-generated.

And here is the thing about thoughts: they’re made up. Our mind creates them without our consent. We have absolutely no power over what goes through our heads.

2. We live in separate realities

We are all blinded by our own perception of reality because we all have access to a different part of the elephant.

A group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before, meet one for the first time. The first one put his hand on the elephant’s side “well” he said “he is exactly like a wall”. The second man felt only the tusk “my friend”, he said, “you are mistaken. He is not like a wall. He is round and smooth and sharp. He is like a spear”. The third man took hold of the elephant’s trunk “both of you are wrong”, he said “Anybody who knows anything can see that this elephant is like a snake”. The fourth reached out his arms and grasped one of the elephant’s legs “Oh how blind you are!” He said “it’s very plain to me that he is round and tall like a tree.” The fifth man took hold of the elephant’s ear “the blindest man ought to know that this beast is not like any of the things you name.” he said “he’s exactly like a huge fan” The sixth man seized the animal’s tail “oh foolish fellows!”, he cried, “ you surely have lost your senses. This elephant is exactly like a rope”. Then the elephant moved on, and the six blind men sat by the roadside all day and quarreled about him. Each believed that he knew just how the animal looked, and each called the others ignorant or insane for not agreeing with him.

We are all blinded by our own perception of reality because we all have access to a different part of the elephant.

We all live in a thought-created version of reality. Because our experience of reality is 100% thought generated, the way it looks to me will be different from the way it looks to you

That means that when somebody sees things differently from you it’s not because they’re idiots or they’re going out of their way to antagonise you. It’s because they “make up” a different reality to you.

Have you ever had an argument with someone and they say something like “when you calm down you’ll see that I am right”? Well, that’s simply not true. When you calm down you may appreciate their perspective more than you did, but your reality still won’t be the same as theirs.

3.Influencing starts with connection.

We live in separate realities, and no reality is more “right” than another. When you start understanding this, people who have different opinions to you stop being crazy or stupid and start being interesting.

In fact, there is no better way of being more influential than finding out why not every intelligent person on the planet agrees with you.

So here is that golden tip I promised you at the beginning of this article. Take the time to really listen and understand how someone can see what they see. Live through their reality for a minute, without judgment or agenda. When you don’t treat people like idiots, which means they won’t feel like you do, they might start listening to you and actually change their opinion.

Influencing starts with connection.

The understanding that our reality is different from others and that there is no inalienable truth can be freeing. Connecting with others on this deeper, more empathetic, human level opens us up to becoming smarter and more influential.

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Calli Bushell
Calli Bushell

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Calli Bushell
August 31, 2022

Whenever I am struggling, Charlotte is always there to provide me with the tools I need to help me overcome these challenges or thoughts. She has made my sport enjoyable again and helped me make some tough decisions which I would still be putting off now!

Antonia Fleming
December 9, 2022

I had never tried anything like this before and didnt have any expectations but Charlotte put me at ease before i had even met her. I got so much out of our session and felt so relaxed after. The aftercare is also excellent and gave me further help to continue the process and she has checked in with me to see how i have been doing. I cannot recommend her enough! Thank you Charlotte!

Félicie Escoffier
August 22, 2022

After an episode a few weeks ago where I lost my son at the park, I had unexpected reactions when I was with him. Basically, I was freaking out the same thing would happen again and had as well some flashback of the event. I decided to get in touch with Charlotte, to help me to get rid of this trauma. In one session, she used her magic and reprogrammed my memories of the event. I was a little bit scared to have to talk and relive the event but I have to say it was quite enjoyable. She helped me get rid of the fear linked to this traumatic event and she even helped me create positive memories about it. I was blown away how powerful her technique was. At the end of the session, I was feeling lighter, relieved and even happy! It gave me the chance to enjoy my time with my kids as nothing ever happened. Mind blowing. I couldn’t recommend her enough.

Jennifer Syme
December 14, 2022

I won a session with Charlotte and it was the best prize I could have had. The session was calm and gentle. I felt like she was leading me by the hand to the places I needed to explore. Then a recording to listen to in bed, which helped me sleep. I will definitely book further sessions.

Nehal Shukla
February 21, 2024

Have been working with Charlotte from the past few months now. It started of as a journey towards self esteem and confidence. The sessions and exercises given by her really helped me find myself again. The improvement was not only in mental state but also physically, I have a glow i cant seem to get rid off. Her calming presence make the process so much easier. I would highly recommend her to anyone looking for support.

Steph Piercey
March 3, 2023

I can’t speak highly enough of my experience working with Charlotte. She was empathetic, patient and understanding the entire time. I was a little skeptical of hypnotherapy at first but had a breakthrough moment with her and now really see the benefits! I would recommend her to any one seeking out support

Caoimhe Creed
January 21, 2023

Charlotte has such a calming presence and is so knowledgable, I quickly felt comfortable and completely relaxed with her. She explained the psychology behind everything so clearly, which meant that I not only came away from our session knowing a lot more about myself but also the human brain! She also followed up with helpful, tailored advice. I would highly recommend everyone have a session with her.

Jill Gray
May 17, 2023

I can't thank Charlotte enough for the incredibly positive impact 6 weeks of sessions have had, it has been game changing. I had specific phobias and issues I was looking to deal with, but the tools and methods Charlotte used and has equipped me with have been far further reaching than the things I was looking for help with. When our original trajectory was interupted, Charlotte was compassionate and flexible, pivotting to address the new challenge. I'm able to handle so many things in a better way now, looking at them from a different perspective or understanding that I have the tools to manage. I cannot recommend working with her highly enough!

Dimitrios Danousis
January 6, 2024

I worked with Charlotte on a journey of self-exploration and personal growth. Her gentle guidance allowed me to delve into the depths of my thoughts and emotions, uncovering aspects of myself that needed attention. Charlotte's expertise in self-improvement has been truly empowering. I highly recommend her to anyone seeking a path of self-discovery and positive change.

chanah debson
May 15, 2024

I’ve had the privilege of working with Charlotte and I can't recommend her highly enough. Her empathy, insight, and professionalism created a safe and supportive space for me to explore and grow. Her guidance has been invaluable in my journey towards healing and self-discovery. If you're looking for someone who truly cares and can help you navigate life's challenges, both personally and professionally then look no further Charlotte is an excellent choice. I am truly grateful for how she has helped me make changes and be the best version of myself. Thank you Charlotte!!

fredrica Carlqvist
January 16, 2023

I feel lighter after talking to Charlotte. What I have noticed after my work with her is that don’t feel the same stress talking into a camera or to an audience anymore. I warmly recommend Charlotte to everyone that feel some kind of stress over something.

Anikó Lukáč
January 12, 2024

I was really struggling to find a good therapist, but I was lucky enough to find her. I worked with Charlotte a several months ago. She not just helped me with my anxiety , but she also showed me amazing techniques to apply. I've never felt this confident in my entire life before as now, thanks to her programme. If you are looking for someone, who's gonna be beside you in your hardest times, don't look further, she's the best!

Charlotte was very professional throughout our sessions and made me feel totally at ease in both my environment and in myself emotionally. We spoke about things I would never have expected to in ways I was totally unfamiliar with, but the combination of uncertainty and Charly’s professionalism led to a switch in my head concerning something I have had insecurities about for a life time. I haven’t since thought about the sessions in depth, but their results will stay with me forever. Once again so happy to have been able to work with her and am endlessly thankful for the difference she made. I wish her all the best of luck in this exciting journey!

Rudi Michael
April 29, 2024

Words can’t describe how great full I am for Charlotte.. She got me through the most turmoil stage in my life, it amazed me how after speaking to somebody who knows nothing about you can really know you inside out in such a short space of time. The world needs more people like her in it.. she’s amazing ✔️

September 29, 2022

Finding Charlotte on my path was a blessing, i am so grateful that i met her in a difficult time of my life. Nowadays if you don’t have connection, you can find hundreds of therapists on internet but finding the good one / the perfect match is priceless. She is very good, she knows what she does, she found quickly the red buttons and took my hand all along the sessions to make them turned green.